You matter
You are not behind. You are not lost. You are not “just” anything. You are still becoming. 🤍
You’re not just a wife, mom, daughter, or friend. You matter.
You have dreams and desires that may have been put on hold while you were parenting your children.
A friend once told me during this phase that God had plans for me—Carolyn—not just Carolyn, Jared and Jess’s mom.
That was a lightbulb moment.
But I think I had either forgotten how to dream, or I hadn’t given myself the freedom—or permission—to dream.
In truth, I had planned my life up until my children… and hadn’t really thought about what came after.
Give yourself time
My first piece of advice is this:
Don’t rush into anything.
This is a time that needs space.
Space to reflect.
Space to gather.
Space to reconnect with who you are.
Approach it with curiosity.
A gentle way forward
I came across an idea from Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Le Cunff that really resonated with me.
Instead of trying to figure everything out all at once, she suggests we approach life in small, low-pressure ways.
Not “What is my purpose now?”
but “What small experiment can I try next?”
Her approach is simple, but powerful:
Start small — no big decisions needed
Stay curious — explore, don’t commit
Keep it time-bound — try something for a short period
Reflect — notice what energises or drains you
Adjust — continue, tweak, or let go
It gives you permission to explore without pressure.
To rediscover yourself gently.
What might this look like?
Trying something new…
Learning a skill…
Exploring different work possibilities…
Making new friends…
Visiting new places…
We’ll talk more about this later when we explore self-care and permission to have fun.
Holding both grief and possibility
As I’ve said before, this is also a time of grieving.
I want this to be a space where you feel supported.
Where we acknowledge that while our experiences are different,
there are threads that connect us.
A place for honesty.
For shared experience.
For practical tools.
There is no judgment here.
And I’m not writing from a place of expertise, but from experience.
I haven’t “arrived.”
I’m still navigating this space too.
A gentle invitation
I’d love to encourage some reflection.
What’s something you have missed most since your children left home?
I think I miss the busy sporting weekends.
I loved watching my children play—
not just for the competition,
but for being outdoors in new spaces
and connecting with other parents.
What feelings are showing up for you during this time?
Acknowledge them.
If you feel comfortable, share them here.
What might those feelings be telling you?
There may be sadness.
But also relief—
that you’ve successfully launched an adult into the world.
For me, one of the hardest feelings was not feeling “needed” anymore.
But that feeling led me somewhere important—
towards exploring purpose.
Something we’ll talk about in a future piece.
Empty Nest Trivia
“Empty nest” was a term first coined by Dorothy Canfield in 1914.
It describes the stage in the family life cycle when children leave home—often bringing significant emotional and psychological changes for parents.